[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
For you.

Dear fucked society,Dear fucked up society,
Why do you take our rights?
Our human rights?
To who we love?
To who we are.. To our image?
Tell me.

You force images down our throat;
Images of airbrushed, false looking
people. You want people to look
more skinny and cause anorexia,
More along the hidden line that
you dig under the ground like
a dead forgotten body yet always there

You show us that its not right to be gay,
lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered..
And then wonder why the suicide rate is
so fucking high. You cause the nightmares
and terrors of our family not accepting us
our

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

I don't fight fair...Cut, bruised, scraped, forgotten. These things I have all been at least once in my life. But it
hasn't made me stronger, just more determined in my fight to live another day.
I know the ways of my attackers, studied their movements, learned their tricks and gleamed
their true motives. I have seen their weaknesses, their faults, theirs flaws and I have kept
them close to me, ready for use when the next time we meet.
They are cautious of me, they have weary from my adaptive ways, knowing that I can fall only
so many times. They are scared for I have the key to their defeat; not by sane ways, but by
the ways they fear to tread.
One look, one stare, one gesture and they will run in fear for the truth is upon them: "I won't
live restrained anymore."
"I have seen your errors an played on them like strings on a violin. Moved you to place were I
make the rules. Put you on display for all to see what you have done, and what will be done."

You ha

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

the carbon footprint of an arsonistyour crystal promise
rings drip off your glacial
fingers into global

nothings. the geodesic
dome you used to live in
is a hell you keep

clean-shaven and concentric,
spiraling away from you,
wrapping your unborn

children up in paper goblets.
for minimum wage, any geryon
would cling to the terza rima

inkblots on your
collarbones, his spongy molars
diving into your right

angles, his familiar laughs
killing your skin with
shivering cuddles and you

shudder, being self-diagnosed
at center of the universe,
your hair a nest of radio

waves, the one cosmic
principle drumming on the ancient
heart of mystery.

but amateur porn always
made you cry

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

The WaitingBones hang from trees
Hollow windchimes rattling
In the sullen breeze

Dark clouds make noonday dusk
Rusted buttons on threadbare coats
Sorrow drips like rain

(From the fingertips of this dead-rose day)

Hoofprints kill the grass
Where the dark horse steps
The rider unsmiling

The tired and ill amble about
Cattle awaiting the shoulder tap
To sleep, but not to dream

(To become whatever the second birth dictates)

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Ashes on the SandWe put you in
a crystal box
small enough for me
to hold in my
hands
(and that thought gives me
chill bumps)
The tide was high
where we took you
and I remember thinking
how pointless it was
(you were just going to wash
up on the shore)
Everyone was quiet
and some people cried
and as you were tossed
out to sea like so
many grains of sand
I thought how much
I missed you
(Now I think how much
I hate you
for leaving)

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

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different kinds of peoplethere are things people don't
allow themselves to say
because they're worried that
they might "sound gay"

there are things people
are too afraid to do
even in a silly game
of "i dare you too"

then there are those
whoo say "fuck it, who cares"
they know who they are
and don't worry about the stairs

those people who just
say "guys it's a game"
and don't chicken out
because someone else thinks it's lame

supernatural_ sam and dean conversationme: -watches hours of spn- -goes to family gathering- -keeps acting like dean- o;adishgarg

him: dhfsk;fln';mlasf thats ok because im always sammy

me: oh hey there sammy

him: oh hey there dean nice to see you hows cas

me: kldf;osadglgdif I'M NOT ALWAYS WITH CAS SAM ...he says hi by the way

him: oh pls dean i know all about you two. hi cas

me: shut up sammy you don't know anything

him: are you kidding i went to standford and got all a's i do know everything im sam winchester i win

me: well you don't know everything about me

him: ive looked up to you since i was four tried to be exactly like you so yeah i know you.

me: don't pull that

what will happen...i was unable to say...
those words
but i try to convey
with others
how much you mean to me

i was foolish
when you told me...
i wasn't able to
say it back

and i know it's too late now
and even if it wasn't
now is not the time
but
i love you

and getting to talk
and joke
and play
like we used to
before
...

i can't do this
or
i shouldn't
acting like we used to
back when it was just us
i shouldn't
it will only upset you more

but i do it anyway
i guess
i'm just too selfish
when it comes to this

it's just going to make things worse for you

yet...
you don't make it stop
you continue it
feed it

i've missed this
so

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[x]

my colour wheel is broken

by ~Ztransman, Feb 4, 2013, 3:50:20 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

if emotions were colours
mine would not be the same
as most who walk about me
and i'm told that i'm to blame

my colour wheel is tainted
in shades from black to white
this gray scale of emotions
i know something's not right

i watch their indicators slide
from red to green to blue
but mine wont work correctly
and i don't know what to do

it sticks when i want it to move
and moves when i need it to stay
i can't seem to control it
there must be another way

but now it seems to have fallen
to yet a darker shade of grey
so i don't care to try and fix it
i guess it can wait another day

my colour wheel is brokenby ~Ztransman

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

i tried to explain my emotions one time
to a couple frineds of mine
morgan said it sounded like depression from the start
callie told me to i should turn it into art
so here's a poem about my wheel
explaining the range of emotions i feel

*akibara13 Feb 4, 2013

This is really a good way of conveying that sort of thing. I really like the symbolism.

~Ztransman Feb 4, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

i had it written out before like;
most peoples feelings/moods seem like a colour wheel and it's like there's this arrow or whatever moving around the colours depending on what happens durring the day
but i feel mine is more of a greyscale and the arrow or indicator thingy is loose so it just kind of slides around on it's own

if it's not in a poem i'm very good with words

*akibara13 Feb 5, 2013

Yeah I got all that from the poem and thought it was a great way of describing it. I thought it was really well said.

*MandyMullins2 Feb 4, 2013

This is so deep!

~Ztransman Feb 4, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

told callie i finally wrote it and she's supper exited to read it wednesday lol

*MandyMullins2 Feb 5, 2013

Awesome!

(who is Callie?

)

~Ztransman Feb 12, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

one of my classmates

*MandyMullins2 Feb 13, 2013

Cool!

~StarDustKim Feb 4, 2013 Student Digital Artist

wow <3

~Ztransman Feb 4, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

thank you (:

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my colour wheel is broken

my colour wheel is brokenby ~Ztransman

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